At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach, "now go over there and explain it to your mother."

There were these three guys at a football game and it just so happened that they were sitting behind three nuns. They couldn't see really well over their habits, so one of the guys says, "Man, I wish I lived in Ohio, there are only 25 Catholics there."

One of the other guys says, "Well, I wish I lived in Idaho because there are only 20 Catholics there."

Then the last guy says, "Well, I wish I lived in Oregon there are only 15 Catholics there."

Then one of the nuns turns around and says, "Why don't you go to hell - there are no Catholics there!"

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game.

But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now."

Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole."

"My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must've been terrible!"

"It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."

Two guys are hitting the links at their local golf and country club. Luckily, it's a beautiful day, and there's hardly anyone on the course, so they've been breezing through the holes. Up around the seventh tee, they spot the first people on the course other than themselves, two ladies who, from the guys' perspective, are having trouble on the green. In fact, they've each five-putted it!

The first guy says "Christ. I hope they just had a bad hole, I don't want to follow these broads for the next eleven holes!" The second one goes, "Well, maybe I'll go talk to them, and maybe they can let us pass them. I'll be back in a sec."

So he trots off, about to go and ask to let them pass. Suddenly, about a hundred feet away from the women, he stops, turns and runs away from them as fast as he can. When he comes back, he exclaims, "Jesus! That's my wife and my girlfriend! They're both here! Golfing together! I'm sorry, man, but I can't say anything to them. I'm liable to be killed if they saw me. How about you go ask them?"

So the other guy concurs, and trots off to ask the women if they can pass and get on with their game. Then he stops suddenly, spins around and runs back to his buddy in the same manner. "What's wrong? What's the matter?" his friend says. "Same damn thing," he replies.